Reading People

The perspectives most people have on life are shaped to some degree by the way their bodies look and function. A man who is six feet tall will probably have a very different take on the world than his five-foot brother. That foot makes an incalculable difference that neither man can control entirely, and it's not just about reaching the top shelf in the closet.

Physical characteristics fall into two main groups: elective and nonelective. Elective traits include things that can be controlled: for instance, clothing, tattoos, makeup, and accessories. They tend to reveal who we would like to be, or at least what we want to project to others. Nonelective traits are those that cannot be controlled—height, race, body proportion, complexion, coloring, facial features, physical handicaps, and, to a lesser degree, voice. These nonelective traits that significantly affect someone's experiences in life tend to reveal much about his or her character, way of thinking, and behavior. This is especially true of traits we've had since birth.

Nonelective Traits

Traits people were born with, particularly those that present physical challenges or make it more difficult to be included in normal social setDiscovering tings, usually have a deep-rooted and permanent effect on personality and behavior. For that reason, I rely heavily on such traits for clues to the core of a person's character.

Someone confined to a wheelchair from birth has spent a lifetime compensating for what the able-bodied take for granted. He has suffered discrimination and been pointed at, laughed at, and talked down to as if his mind functioned no better than his legs. In most cases, such experiences can't help but cause his handicap to become central to his life. The same can be said of the attitudes of many minorities, the obese, the physically deformed, the mentally and emotionally challenged, and those who suffer from debilitating diseases.

Elective Traits

Because people can change elective traits from day to day or minute to minute, I view them very differently. A person's clothing, jewelry and accessories, and even many mannerisms, can be altered almost at will.

They change as we change settings and circumstances. Most of us don't dress for work the way we do when we're lounging around the house or going to a party. We speak differently when talking with old high school friends than we do with our boss or a customer.