Reading People

Somewhere between the serious study of body language and parlor-trick analysis lies a workable method for day-to-day interpretation of people's movements. But, like physical characteristics, most body movements can have many meanings or no meaning at all, depending on the circumstances.

The best way to sort the meaningful information from the unimportant details is to learn how various emotions are usually revealed in an assortment of movements that typically occur simultaneously, rather than to memorize separate body movements and their possible meanings. For example, poor eye contact can be a "symptom" of dishonesty, anger, nervousness, defensiveness, embarrassment, fear, arrogance, boredom, and other emotions. You can tell which only if you identify other clues that point in the same direction. For that reason this book describes the combinations of movements that typically reflect various states of mind. At the end of this chapter, nine of those basic emotional states are discussed. Thirteen more are discussed in Appendix B. The nine included here will demonstrate how seemingly similar emotions can be revealed through very different body language, and how very different emotions can be expressed with many of the same body movements.

Although you shouldn't rely too heavily on body language alone, there is no denying that it can provide valuable information. For example, if you have a hunch that someone's lying to you, you can try to force the person to tell you the truth, find evidence such as a paper trail, or perhaps confirm your suspicions with information from a third party. But unless you know the physical tip-offs to dishonesty, you may never think to question someone's truthfulness in the first place. Most people are very uncomfortable lying, so it's not too difficult to spot a lie if you know what to look for. You might not be able to prove your conclusions in a court of law—but then again, you probably won't need to. Once a person's body language has signaled to you that he might be lying, you can confirm your hunch through these other sources if the situation warrants it.